It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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