Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize