My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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