I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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