fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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