Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We're too hungover to prance.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
