So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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