im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
