if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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