So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
