I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
