Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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