girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
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