JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
