So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
