Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Randomize
