I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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