i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
