I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
