he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
