The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
