she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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