She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
