I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
