I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize