you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
