u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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