he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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