are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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