She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she smelled like a LAN party
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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