Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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