I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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