I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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