you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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