all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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