matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
