When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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