I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
