Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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