It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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