ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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