i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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