weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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