Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
PANTIES FOUND
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
