Plan B is the new Plan A
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
