White coat. Heels.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
