Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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