So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
