He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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