Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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