ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
