The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night