...so i touched it.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.