did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.