I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
