Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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