Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
