I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
