Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.

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  (248): piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up. http://tfl.nu/j6d2
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (1031) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona

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  (310): first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona http://tfl.nu/f4h4
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  (510): View more from California

  called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?

  (1-510): View more from California

  you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.

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  (510): called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic? (1-510): you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore. http://tfl.nu/b816
  Replies (19) Good night (2439) Bad night (653)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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  (407): I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me." http://tfl.nu/vao0
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  (949): View more from California

  this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head

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  (949): this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head http://tfl.nu/73zt
  Replies (48) Good night (1293) Bad night (7412) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

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  (330): just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this. http://tfl.nu/6gzz
  Replies (10) Good night (5813) Bad night (846) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.

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  (760): Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule. http://tfl.nu/62pd
  Replies (24) Good night (1181) Bad night (4095) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.

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  (571): I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet. http://tfl.nu/230n
  Replies (5) Good night (2820) Bad night (994) Order T-Shirt
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos

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  (908): ...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos http://tfl.nu/7o3l
  Replies (58) Good night (1386) Bad night (2740) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"

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  (707): then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure" http://tfl.nu/54yc
  Replies (15) Good night (1202) Bad night (3726) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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  (757): I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/7g7n
  Replies (4) Good night (2804) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA

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  (563): This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA http://tfl.nu/rbpe
  Replies (2) Good night (1233) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".

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  (916): Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles". http://tfl.nu/t7tu
  Replies (4) Good night (903) Bad night (459) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

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  (410): Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/6rlc
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (408) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

  (315): View more from New York

  Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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  (202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (215)

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