He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Less talking, more tequila
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
So I just went to clothing optional bar