Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
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You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now