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piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
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